Fugitive Status Averted

Monday I went downstairs to do a load of laundry.  Just a quick rearranging of the current loads, no folding or hanging.  I come back upstairs to find that the Wren has written all over the YELLOW leather couch in pen.  Holy Christ.  We are going to have to leave town.  And possibly the country.  Maybe even the continent. 
My husband is always giving me shit for leaving my pens in or on my crossword puzzle books.  Even with the lid on.  Apparently this is why.
Thank Christ for the Internet.  Rubbing alcohol takes ink off leather. 
It also shows just how dirty the leather is by somehow removing only the ink and not the actual dirt.  I am so glad it came out.  There were a few moments when I seriously considered how employable I was in Patagonia.  The Wren is young enough that she could get used to a new first name.

She also wrote all over my crossword.

Awesome Parenting

I am now officially an awesome parent.  Surely there is a website somewhere that will feature me.  I could give classes.
A few nights ago I put the girls to bed, waited for all to be calm and went downstairs to surf the net.  After about an hour I went back upstairs to find that Chickenbutt was still awake, had the light on, had been playing trains and was not looking at all tired.  We generally leave the light on for her for about 10 minutes after she crawls into bed as she likes to read.  Clearly I forgot to turn it out.  I did have the monitor on though so she must have been quiet.  I didn't hear a thing. 
At 3AM the same night the Wren decided to get up and was CHEERY!  She was playing with her toys in her bed.  So I got up, fed her and decided that I was too tired for a long cuddle session so I tossed her back in bed and let her cry it out.  It didn't take that long.
Today I took them to the library.  I let them walk along the library sidewalk in the ice.  I let them wander around the library.  I let the Wren play with the computer.  I banged the Wren's head on the car door trying to wrestle her into the seat, then she lost a boot and she thrashed herself out of the car seat.  Did I mention that she was not wearing mittens or a hat?  She will only wear them inside the house, as soon as we get in the car they come off.
After the library I fed them Happy Meals.  And watermelon so that evens out.
Oh and sometimes I let them eat food off the floor. 
But not at McDonald's.

Sympathy

We are busy potty training Chickenbutt.  It has not been easy.  First of all she was not overly interested until I put Wren on the potty.  Game on. 
Then it was inconsistent.   Some days she would go, some days no.  I am not interested in fighting.
Plus I am not a fan of pull ups (although I will buy one package for outings) because I am cheap (I have a coupon for a free package) and my Chickenbutt is just too skinny.  They will gape.  She will just have to wear tight pants and hope for the best. 
So panties it is.  She is wearing them full time (except to sleep) for the last few days.  Screw the actual potty training, we are going straight to potty trained.  She has had a few accidents but fortunately she likes to read and will spend plenty of time sitting on the toilet.
Next step is using the big toilet.  Again that held no interest until I introduced a little sibling rivalry.  Wren has no fear.  She will sit on the toilet no problem. 
Now here is where the sympathy comes in.  My Chickenbutt is a little perfectionist so she is not a fan of accidents.  However she is also responsible for destroying my bladder control.  Yesterday I coughed for a few seconds and peed my pants.  Full on piss everywhere.  Ok, not everywhere but a new pair of pants was needed.  And my doctor wants to do a full exam since apparently anecdotal pants peeing is not enough to get referred to a specialist. 
Shiiiitttt...well not yet but that better not require a full exam.