Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Kid's Shows I Would Like to See

We don't get very many channels that feature kid's shows.  We get PBS, RetroTeletoon and Disney Junior.  No Treehouse, no Nickalodeon and no children's tier of channel selection.  I actively avoid the most annoying shows like Caillou and Special Agent Oso.  Yet there are still many, many shows I hate.  I actively hate the Dinosaur Train.  Who thought of that?  What kind of shitty paleontologist is Scott that he will give out dinosaur facts but never once mention that there were no trains or time travel back then?  He must have missed a day in university.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse: The Lawsuit
The Looney Tunes gang sues the Disney gang over access to the clubhouse.  After they are admitted on anti-discrimination laws Elmer Fudd goes berserk and starts shooting.  Starting with Daisy.

The Land Before Time: The K/T Boundary
A giant meteorite hits the Earth wiping out all the dinosaurs.  Six minute episode.  Tops.

The Dinosaur Train: Buddy Grows Up
One morning Buddy wakes up and realizes that he is a T-Rex.  He eats the Ptaranadon family. 
Then gets hit by a giant meteorite.

Strawberry Shortcake: The Big Freeze
Frost kills all the crops in Very Bitty City. No supplies lead to a slow starvation. No more vapid laughter. In good news Blueberry Muffin was away and survives.

Thomas and Friends: The Toxic Spill
Thomas is derailed and his cargo is a toxic chemical that causes the island of Sodor to be declared a wasteland.  All of the trains must remain on the island.  Did I mention that the chemical spilled all over Sir Toppham Hatt?  He melts!

Choo Choo Soul: The Engineer gets some Street Cred
How many people would the engineer have to kill in order to get some respect as a real rapper?  Can you even recover from rapping on a cartoon train?  Count the victims!  Math skills!

Scooby Doo: Meets a Real Monster
Watch as Scooby and the gang try to unmask a real bear!  Hilarity ensues as the body parts rain down!

Handy Manny: Mr Lopart's Background Check
Would you leave your children alone with Mr. Lopart?  I sure wouldn't.  Something is not right with that guy.  Can the police figure it out?

Curious George: A Visit to the Zoo
The man in the yellow hat takes George to the zoo and leaves him there.  In a cage.  Poor George, there is not much too be curious about in a cell. 
In a follow-up episode every scientific body on the planet refuses to acknowledge the man with the yellow hat and he is outed as just some crazy guy with a monkey fetish and a lot of yellow clothes.  Maybe the police officer from Sheetrock Hills can take a closer look in a crossover episode.


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